Are You a Success or a Failure?

You may be one, the other, or both, depending on who you’re asking.  But, what about when you ask yourself?

When I tell people I’m a self-published author, I get:

• Oh, so self published.  So, not like a real author.

or

• Omg that’s great!  I can’t believe you’re brave enough to do that.

When I tell people I’m back in college, I get:

• In your thirties?

or

• Nice.  It’s never too late to go back.  What’s your major?

When I tell people I’m not married (and no kids), I get:

• Don’t worry, it will happen someday.

or

• I bet that’s nice too.  Marriage and kids are not for everyone.

On and on, you can do that with any aspect of my life, and I’ll either get a sad “aww” or a “way to go!”

Then how do I measure whether I’m failing or succeeding?

By not listening to any of that, and instead listening to what’s inside.

Yep, cheesy as that sounds.  I cannot measure my life against other people’s opinions, because they range from good to bad.  To some, I’m living the dream.  To others, omg I’m not a bestselling author who is married and has 3 wonderful children and, and, and…

So, here’s my answer:

I felt like a failure, for a long time.  I was an alcoholic in my 20’s, making terrible choices, and going nowhere in life.  I never had a good relationship (when I managed to even have one).  I was just some party girl planning my life around hangovers.

I wanted to change that.

I am sober now.  I have hobbies, a dog, and a partner whom I love very much.  I’m back at school, working my butt off for that high GPA.  I managed to stick with it not for one, but two novels, which I published and sent out to the world.  I am currently working on two more.

My life feels successful where I am right now.  I may not be where others are, but for a lot of things, I don’t want to follow anyone’s footsteps.  Marriage sounds nice.  Kids?  Not so much 😝  Being a bestselling author sounds amazing, so I am working hard to improve my writing (and that is a success, in and of itself, even if it takes time).

Am I inflating my own life?  Nope.  I just know what I’ve done before and what I’m doing now.  I also know that this is my life, and my time, and I need to live the life that feels right to me.

If you’re feeling like a failure right now (and maybe doing some of the same self-destructive crap I did in my 20’s), change.  Do things differently.  But if you’re already working towards your dreams and living your life, then my friend, you are already a success!

Write on,

Yari Garcia

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