Posted in 🌻 Blog / Writer's Life

Stuff People Say to Writers (and Why You Should Ignore It!)

Let’s have some fun, shall we? πŸ˜‰ And yes, this is all good and fun, because while these things might be a bit annoying, some people do say them because they think they’re helping.

And even when they’re rude, we can’t control what others say… But we can sure get a kick out of it, then ignore every single word! πŸ˜‚

1. You should write erotica, it’s what sells

This one changes with the seasons. I used to hear “write erotica” all the time. Then it was “write vampire romance.” Or “write about zombies.” Then again, “write erotica” (man, that erotica really sells, doesn’t it??).

Trends come and go, and there are faster, easier ways to make money other than writing.

If I was only after money, I would be an aerospace engineer or something, not an English major 😏 While my goal is to make a living off my writing, I want to write what’s in my heart– not follow a fleeting trend for the sweet $$$$.

Trends come and go. Have fun writing and quit making yourself miserable chasing trends! The money will come with hard work.

2. Oh, it’s self-published. So not really published, then.

Yeah, that self-published book that hundreds of people have read is not really there. Just go ahead and ignore that πŸ˜‘ LoL! This one is often heard by indie authors like myself, who’ve not yet found the world of traditional publishing alluring enough to try.

The publishing scene has shifted, and now there’s several reputable self-publishing avenues to try.

And if you worked hard to self-publish your book, you should be proud of yourself! I am proud of you!

Don’t listen to people who feel that a publisher makes you “legit.” It’s your readers that matter, not a publishing house.

3. Has anyone other than your family read it?

First of all, as someone without a family since age 16, let me tell you– if you have supportive family that reads and reviews your books, that is REALLY GREAT! Don’t let anyone minimize that blessing in your life.

Supportive family is often everyone’s first audience.

It is super-normal for family to become your beta readers, your editors, and your first fans. I’m not seeing what’s wrong with that πŸ€”

Stephen King has spoken about his wife being his first editor/reader on his book On Writing. I assure you, it’s normal! (And you’re blessed!)

4. You can write the next Harry Potter and be set for life.

I really dislike when people use JK Rowling and Oprah as examples. How many Harry Potters do you know? How many Oprahs are there? Exactly. Just-ONE. So, what does that tell you??

The instant-hit book is a wonderful thought, but as realistic as becoming a rock star.

I mean, if that’s your aim, I hope you achieve it! But if your first (or second, or third) book does “only okay,” that’s actually a good start.

How it works for most authors (for most fields and careers, actually) is lots of practice, lots of work, and success over time. Plus, do you really want to be a one-hit wonder? Don’t you enjoy writing novels?

So yeah, write on πŸ™‚

What have you heard that makes you cringe all over? Share in the comments! πŸ˜‚

Take care my friends,


🌸 🌜🌸 🌜🌸 🌜🌸 🌜🌸 🌜🌸 🌜🌸 🌜

23 thoughts on “Stuff People Say to Writers (and Why You Should Ignore It!)

  1. This is why I do stuff with discretion…. aside from my wife, I’m surrounded by cultural β€œNeanderthals”. And when they hear of the book I’m writing, I can just imagine what they’re going to be thinking…..

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Brilliant hilarious tips, Yari! Thanks for the encouragement! πŸ™‚
    My favourite bugbear feedback is ”All feedback is helpful!” That’s…great, but then you risk becoming overloaded with feedback from well-meaning but inexperienced writers who might not like your particular style and want the story steered in a particular way to suit their preferences. At the end of the day, it’s YOUR story, not theirs.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. These are funny! I’ve been told by multiple people that I should write a children’s book about having a disability. That could be cool, but I’ve never had an interest in writing a children’s book, so thanks but no thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Great post, Yari. Yes I remember hearing the “write erotica” advice. Like, errr no thanks, I like what I write and I have zero interest in writing or reading erotica. It’s not about the money for many writers, so that kind of advice is kinda dumb.

    What annoys me is one of my series (that I’ve been writing since I was 18….and I’m *cough* 38 *cough*) has vampires in it. It’s NOT vampire romance, it has vampires, just like it has gargoyles and goblins but because vampires became trendy (I started BEFORE it was trendy) everyone makes a deal about how I’m “following the trend” – nope, not doing that either. Just writing something I wanted to.

    I still see writers, often on Twitter, telling me how they want to go traditional published (awesome, nothing wrong with that) but when I ask why they chose that many say “because it’s “real” publishing” -sigh-

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, that had to be a bit annoying, trying to explain that you’re NOT following the Twilight trend. But hey, sometimes what you’re writing and what becomes trendy does line up.

      I do see that sentiment too – that traditional publishing is the REAL publishing. Maybe it’s because someone other than the author has decided the work is publish-worthy? I don’t know. For some, I’m sure it’s validation.

      However, one cannot ignore the self-published super-hits on Wattpad that become Netflix movies, or the self-published works that explode into popularity. Those are really cool things I never could have imagined in the 90s! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. One of the decisions I made last night was to stand out instead of fitting in.

    Normal is doing it the way everybody does it. And if we all did it the same way, where is the place of creativity?

    These and more you’ve mentioned should be ignored.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Oh, your post was super fun. I’ve heard a few of them, from well-meaning people, and I just roll my eyes.
    On the subject of indie publishing, you’ve really highlighted something that’s bothered me for ages, people’s perception of it has really put me off.
    I also know I desire the validation, I want to know my works good enough to put out there, and my perfection drive has me striving for an agent, editor, publisher, etc.
    Yet, I know the indie market is giving publishers a run for their money, and that the industry is here to stay.
    I can’t wait for novels to pick up a better stigma, like indie music.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Lorraine! πŸ™‚ I think it’s a worthy goal to go the traditional publishing route, but I dislike the “noses turned up” attitude indie publishing can get (from some).

      I always figured my validation will come from readers, who can be brutally honest! (Especially the teens 😁)

      I do wish you the best on your publishing goals, whether traditional or indie πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Most days, I wouldn’t think to say to anyone, I’m a writer and published author. It depends on whether I want to have that conversation. Who’s asking? Ha. Been published, and it meant a lot to me. That matters most. Who read it?I don’t know. Self publishing is hard work, educational and gratifying, I imagine.


  8. You are awesome πŸ™‚ You have perfectly nailed some of the most irritating comments we as writers have faced. Anything that starts with, ‘you should write….’ is just a wee bit sketchy! πŸ˜‚ I feel like saying, well, if you’re such a big fan of (fill in the blank), why don’t YOU write it? That’s not what I do or enjoy.

    One of the most frustrating ones I’ve heard is: “You should get a *real* job.” Ahem. Writing is very hard work, more often than not without recognition or feedback when you’d like it most. It can be lonely. But if you are called and designed by God to be a writer, everything else feels like being an impostor, you know? In the end, only we can fulfill the will of God for our lives. What other people think really doesn’t matter.

    Thanks for sharing this post. As always, you’re an inspiration! Lots of love to you! πŸ’• ~ Holly


  9. I suspect all creatives who endeavor to share their work publicly all hear similar things at one time or another. Critics, the one thing the world has surplus of everywhere. I should create more of an inner circle, small group of people who’s opinion i value and none else. Thats a struggle for me, ignoring the nay sayers, not dwelling on what negative people say or do. A journal strictly for penning the positives things people say or do, that might be helpful. Reading Moveable Feast by Hemingway now, he had a something like that to help maintain a positive attitude. Yet sometimes people we admire, and who actually care for us, will tell us the truth about our work, and we dont want to hear it. Constant validation can be ruinous as flattery. Perhaps its best to accept only as much positive as negative remarks, neither more or one or the other. A wise person seeks many counselors, but maturity perhaps leads one to determine which to accept. Psalms 15:22 Without council plans fail, but with many advisors they succeed.


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